Chapter
12
October
2nd 1999
Camp
Bondsteel, Kosovo
Nell
closed the lid and sat down on the toilet. She was holding her future
in her hands. One line and her life would go on without a hitch. Two
lines and her life... her life would change forever.
She
waited one minute. Two minutes...
Virginie
stepped into the apartment yelling « NELL !! ».
Nell
jumped and walked into the living room. « What ? »
« I've
been knocking on the door for the last ten minutes ! What were
you doing ? Didn't you hear me ? »
« Sorry...
I got... distracted. »
« By
what ? You're okay ? »
« I... »
She
looked at the white plastic stick. « My
life is about to change. »
« Oh
my Gosh ! You're pregnant ? »
Nell
sat on the sofa, Virginie in front of her on the coffee table.
« Yeah... »
Virginie
looked at her friend with concern. « Is
that good news or bad news ? »
« I
don't know. I have no idea what to do about it. »
« We
could make a decisions tree. »
Nell
stared at Virginie. « A
what ? »
Virginie
got up, took a sheet of paper and drew a box. Inside, she wrote
'Baby ?'. She drew another box, and a line connecting the two.
« First
answer is 'No', which leads to 'Back to normal' in a couple of weeks.
Second answer, » she
wrote in another box, « is
yes. »
She
started drawing lines and boxes while enumerating all possibilities.
« If
you have the baby, you can either give it up for adoption, or keep
it. And if you keep it, you can either keep it to yourself, or share
with the dad. Who's the dad, by the way ? You haven't been with
anyone since you broke up with Charles. At least that I know of. »
« I
told you about Dubrovnik. Well, I left a detail out. When we got back
to the hotel, Harm and I... we kinda... jumped on each other.
Survival instinct I guess. »
« Are
you going to tell him ? »
« I
don't know. The only thing I know for sure is I can't fly anymore. »
Virginie
stayed silent.
« I
need to see a doctor and have some blood work done.
He will tell the General, who will ground me. And once I'm grounded,
the squadron will want to know why. Rumors go fast, so I'll have to
tell them as well. Everybody will know
even before I call my parents to announce the news. »
She
sighed. « I have to take
a decision first. »
« How
far along are you ? Three, four weeks ? »
« Twenty-three
days. »
« You
still have all options available. »
Nell
didn't talk for a minute.
« The
first thing you should do is talk with the doctor. He'll give you a
physical, answer your questions. He's no OB-GYN, but he has some
fancy equipment. »
« Yeah.
I'll ask him if he can keep it quiet for a few days. Thanks Ginny. »
They
hugged. « You're welcome.
I'm here for you, always. »
« I
know. »
Later
that week, Nell walked into the doctor's office.
« Twenty-seven
days. All right, let's see what we have here. I'm not a specialist,
but it's not my first pregnancy sonogram. »
He
covered Nell's belly with gel and put the probe down. At first, Nell
saw only grey and white. The sounds were coming from her insides, her
own heartbeat. The doctor moved the probe around, trying to check
everything. And then he stopped, pushed. And Nell heard a fluttering,
fast and strong.
« We
have a heartbeat. Here it is. »
The
white and grey became more definite and she saw a teeny tiny white
thing on the black.
« It's
very early yet, so arms and legs don't show up. »
He
turned knobs on his machine and the white thing became bigger.
« But
you're definitly pregnant. I'll wait for you in my office while you
get dressed. » He turned
off the machine, but the last image remained on the screen.
Nell
stayed alone with her thoughts, and the image of... her future baby.
It did look more like a blob at this stage, but she had heard the
heartbeat. And knew she was going to cross one of the boxes on her
chart.
This
baby was staying with her.
*****
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