Chapter
16
December
22nd
1999
JAG
HQ
Nell
was quite anxious when she entered the bullpen. It was bustling with
people coming right and left. A blond lieutenant came to her with a
smile.
« Hello,
ma'am. Can I help you ? »
« Hello.
I'm looking for Lieutenant Commander Rabb. »
« His
office is right here, if he's not in, he should be shortly. »
« Thank
you, lieutenant. »
When
she entered Harm's office, she smiled. He had displayed his flight
helmet and souvenirs in a way nobody could miss. She took a look at
the pictures on the wall, recognised some faces.
« Nell ! »
« Hey
Harm. It's nice to see them. Do you still miss it ? »
« Less
than I did before. Leaving the squadron was my choice this time. Do
you ? »
« Yes.
But I made that choice too, and for the best of reasons. »
« You
still want to keep it quiet ? »
« If
you don't mind, yes. We'll tell them when I come back. »
« All
right. Let's go. »
Nell
took a deep breath before entering the conference room.
« Nervous ? »
« A
bit, yes. »
« Don't
worry, they don't bite. Except maybe the Admiral. »
They
smiled and he opened the door. A few people were already inside,
helping themselves of champagne and appetizers. He took Nell towards
a tall, balding man that was obviously his boss.
« Admiral,
I'd like you to meet Lieutenant-Colonel Hélène Marchand, of the
French Air Force. »
« Colonel,
nice to meet you. »
« You
too, Sir. »
« Nell
was a fighter pilot and we flew together for the last time last
summer. »
« I
didn't know they had female pilots in the French Air Force. »
« I'm
the first one, Sir. »
« And
a good one. » Harm added.
« Thanks ! »
« Are
you better than him, Colonel ? »
Nell
looked taken aback. « I'd say as good as him, Sir. »
« Then
you did a good job, Colonel. »
« Thank
you, Sir. And it's Nell. »
« Would
you like some champagne ? »
« No,
thank you. I'll get some sparkling water. »
She
approached the table when a Marine Lieutenant Colonel was helping
herself to some water as well.
« Non
alcooholic beverage ? »
« Yes,
please. »
« Here.
I'm Mac. »
« Thanks.
And I'm Nell. »
« You
came in with Harm ? »
At
that moment, Harm stepped close. « I see you've met. »
« Yes.
Nell was about to tell me how she met you. »
Nell
had a mischievous smile. « I shot him down. »
« You
what ? »
« It
was a simulated kill in a NATO exercise. » Harm was pouting a
bit.
« I
was a fighter pilot, and we were in opposite teams. He shot my
wingman, so I retaliated. »
« And
you shot him down. » Mac rang her glass against Nell's. « Good
job ! »
« Thanks ! »
« I
knew it was a mistake letting you two meet... »
Nell
smiled. « Some things you can't avoid, Harm. »
The
admiral raised his voice. « Everyone, please. Here is to
another year almost gone, with people out and in. » He turned
to Harm, who smiled sheppishly. « Again. Thanks to all of you
for your hard work, and dedication. I expect no less from you next
year. Merry Christmas. »
« Hear
Hear ! » He raised his glass and everybody did the same.
Harm
took Nell's hand and stepped forward. « I also have an
announcement. Nell and I just got engaged. »
There
were a lot of surprised looks, and Bud raised his glass.
« Congratulations, Sir. All our best wishes. »
As
just before, everyone raised their glasses. « Hear Hear ! »
Harriet
jumped in front of them. « Oh, I'm so happy, Sir, Ma'am. »
« Thanks
Harriet. Nell, Lieutenant Harriet Simms. »
« Can
I... » Nell raised her left hand and Harriet beamed. « Oh,
it's beautiful ! »
« Thanks. »
Other
people started to gather around them. Nell glanced up at Harm and saw
that he was watching someone. She followed his gaze and saw Mac,
looking distraught. She looked back at Harm, saw the same troubled
look on his face.
She
kept smiling, and answering questions and congratulations, but her
heart wasn't in it anymore.
When
people started to back away, she excused herself and went to the
bathroom. She locked herself in a stall and sat down. Harm had told
her about Mac, his colleague and friend. She knew she had been here
for him, and him for her in countless situations. They had saved each
other's lives. But this look... Were they in love with each other ?
Was she putting herself between them ?
Nell
breathed slowly to regain her composure. She exited her stall,
spashed water on her face and dried it with the tears that hadn't
fallen.
She
went back to the conference room and mingled again through JAG
personnel. Harriet came up to her.
« So,
have you set a date yet ? »
« No.
He proposed yesterday, so we haven't thought about it yet. »
« When
you have, Ma'am, I can help you with the planning. I got married just
a year and a half ago, so a lot of details are still fresh in my
memory. And in my wedding planning book. »
« Thanks,
Harriet. I'll keep that in mind. And it's Nell. »
She
found herslef near Mac a little while later.
« Congratulations,
Nell. » Mac's smile was forced and didn't reach her eyes.
« Thank
you, Mac. » Nell watched at Mac attentively, trying to discern
something on the woman's face and behaviour. They parted without
another word.
Later
that evening, Nell and Harm went back to his apartment for a last
dinner. Harm went to the phone to order some Thai delivery. Nell sat
at the bar and looked at her ring.
« Harm...
can I ask you a personnal question ? »
« Of
course. What is it ? »
« What's
between you and Mac ? »
« We're
friends and colleagues. »
« Has
there ever been... more ? »
Harm
looked confused. « No. Why do you ask ? »
« If
I exchanged looks with a friend the way you and Mac did, I would
redefine our friendship... »
« Nell... »
« I'm
not accusing you of anything, Harm. But from what I saw, there are
still speculations and possibilities between you two. I'm sorry, Harm
but you will have to make a choice. At the moment, you're facing two
open doors. And you have to close one in order to get through the
other. One leads to Mac, and all the possibilities you never
explored, the other leads to me. »
Nell
took the ring out and set in on the counter in front of Harm who
looked stunned
« Whatever
path you choose, you will always have a place in our baby's life, I
promise you that. But you can't marry me just because I'm pregnant,
and I can't wonder about you and Mac. Whoever you chose, you have to
give yourself entirely. I'm really sorry that you have to make that
choice. »
Nell
got up, looking sad and tired.
« I
can't back out now, so I'll still move to Washington next week. I'm
going home tomorrow, to spend Christmas with my family. You can reach
me when I come back »
She
opened the door.
« Bye,
Harm. »
*****
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