Gold Wings and Sparrowhawk - Chapter 18

Chapter 18

December 27^th 1999

Harm had intended to stay the whole week in California, but he had a letter to post, and someone to see. It took him several phone calls, four different flights, and over twenty four hours, but he finally made it.

He stepped out of the cab, paid the driver and stood in front of the fence for a moment, admiring the house. It was a typical farm of the Basque region of France, painted white with red trimmings and shutters. There was no bell to ring, so he opened the low gate and entered. He walked to the house, and was wondering on which door to knock when he heard dogs barking. He stopped right where he was, unsure of what would happen next. Someone opened a door, and two fur bullet shot out and went straight for him. They started sniffing at him, being curious but not threatening.

When Harm caught sight of Nell, his heart did a summersault in his chest and settled back again, and he knew in that moment he had made the right choice. He hadn't chosen Nell because she was pregnant, but because he was craving the innate peace between them. Nell recognized Harm and made her way to him. She whistled and the dogs sat down, butts wriggling on the ground.

« Hey, Flyboy. » Nell's smile was huge. He thought he would see this smile often in his future, and he enjoyed the idea. And he promised himself he would do his best never to see this smile falter.

« Hey, Dragon. »

The dogs were whining so she gave them a rub on the head. « This is Scaramouche and this is Figaro. There are good dogs, just overly friendly. »

Harm extanded his hand and let the dogs sniff him. They gave him a lick and asked for a pat. He obliged, and on Nell's wave, they jumped and ran in the meadow.

They stood, face to face, looking intensely at each other. Harm took Nell's hand.

« The door I walked through leads to you and our baby. Will you marry me, Nell ? »

Nell's smile had a tease in it. « You're not talking about of security this time ? »

Harm laughed. « Never again, I promise. »

« Then it's a yes. I'll marry you. »

Harm put his hand on Nell's cheek and kissed her. She sighed and they got lost in the tenderness. They stayed embraced for a moment, savoring the affection that linked them. When he had pushed the gate open, Harm hadn't been sure of his heart. But holding Nell in his arms, feeling her against him, he knew he had made the right choice. The feel of her was right. He still grieved closing Mac's door, but being with Nell was... right. Like a jigsaw piece that had found its place.

They were disturbed when Nell's brother Nicolas darted by them on his bike and catcalled. Nell waived with a smile and led Harm inside. She thought fleetingly about asking him how he found her here. But thinking back, her father had been quite secretive the day before, with some phone call he took privately. She smiled and mentally thanked him for the surprise.

Meeting her family was less stressful than Harm had thought. Bruno, her general of a father was pretty much like any other general her had met, straight forward and serious. Her sister Isabelle was petite and charming, and she welcomed him with a smile that told him she and Nell had been talking about him. And he figured her brother-in-law Benoît was military from the first handshake. Since they would become his family too, he was enjoying the familiar territory. They had three kids, two young boys that kept running around and a newborn girl.

But when Nell's mom came out of the kitchen, he suddenly felt not so much at ease. Barbara was a tall willowy woman, with hair dyed the most bright red, dressed in a long dress and flowing shawls. She was so different from what he expected, he didn't know what to say after the first hello. She welcomed him with a smile, so he relaxed a bit. Her accent was also intriguing to Harm's ear and he discretely asked Nell.

« My mother's German. They met when dad was stationned in Stuttgart. »

Harm only ever spoke English, so French and German in-laws was going to be a challenge. And he realized he was ready for anything for Nell and their baby.

Nell felt her heart would explode from the joy of seeing Harm. His coming here, calling her dad to get directions to surprise her was more than she had hoped. When she had seen him in the alley, her heart had skipped a beat, and she had recognized the feeling for what it was : love. She was in love with Harmon Rabb Jr. She probably had been for quite some time, but now was the time to accept it and let it grow. Would he be in love with her one day ? She had been ready to give him up, to let him go away to another woman, but now, he was stuck with her, and she was going to make sure he never regretted his decision.

Nell's room was on the second floor, on to front of the house, facing west. Through the french doors leading to a balcony, Harm could see the mountains on the horizon. He thought it was a lovely sight, one he would be happy to see in the morning when opening the shutters. He put his bag on the floor and turned to Nell. She was tidying the room in a hurry, putting away clothes, making the bed. He had never seen her so messy.

« Sorry. I always let go of all my military training when I'm around my mother. She has a way of making me forget I'm usually neat. »

« Moms can do that. »

« There's room in the closet if you want to put away your clothes. Bathroom is next door. I forgot to ask you how long you're staying. »

« I have to be back at JAG on January 3^rd, so I took a ticket for a flight back on the first. I don't have any plans before that. »

Nell shoved what she was holding in a drawer and turned to Harm.

« I'm glad. »

Harm put his hands on Nell's waist and pulled her towards him. She put her arms around him and put her ear on his heart. She felt his sigh and the weight of his chin on her head. His arms came around her and they embraced tenderely. They stood there for a moment, in a tender embrace.

Nell had a sudden move and put her hand on her belly.

« What is it ? »

« I felt the baby move ! »

Harm put his own hand on Nell's belly and felt a small movement, soft like a feather. He felt his heart skip a beat, and then settle again. Seing the pictures of the sonogram was one thing, but he knew feeling this tiny life inside of Nell was changing his life. Tears welled up in his eyes and he rested his foreheard on hers.

Once again they were interrupted, this time by two little boys who came in running.

« Lunch is ready ! »

« We're having peas and carrots and roast beef ! »

« Why are you hugging ? »

Harm smiled at them, a bit unsure about what to do or say. Nell shooshed them.

« We'll be down in a minute. Go wash up ! »

Nell put her arms around Harm's neck and gave him a kiss that reminded him of Naples. She unhooked her hands and started to leave when Harm stopped.

« I almost forgot ! »

He picked something up in his bag and handed it to Nell. It was the engagement ring he had given her only a few days before.

« Will you wear it ? »

« Of course ! »

She offered her hand and he put the ring back on her finger.

Harm thought « Just where it belongs. »

And Nell thought « This time it's on for good. »

*****

Same day

Mac's apartment

The hand-written letter surprised Mac, and she frowned her brow when she recognized Harm's penmanship. She went back to her apartment and sat down to read it. It was the first letter he had written to her and something told her it was important.

Dear Sarah,

I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was getting engaged. So much happened these past few months and I didn't take the time.

Nell and I met flying in the early nineties, and we have stayed in touch over the years. We flew together again last summer and things took... an unexpected turn. I might as well tell you, we're having a baby in June.

You're a very dear friend of mine, Sarah, and I'm sorry I hurt you. We have a partnership unlike any I’ve experienced. You've been at my side in the most dire situations, followed me to Hell and back. We have endured and experienced many incredible things and I have so much respect for you and everything you are. You brought the best in me by simply being you.

But my path has veered off away from you, and I had to close the door on what might have happened between us. Even though it hurts right now, this is what's best for the both of us.

When I come back in January, I know things will be different. But I want to stay friends with you. It will probably feel weird working together for a while, but I think we can find an new rythm, a new way to be around each other. I want to make this friendship work, I really do. I hope you do too.

And I hope you find a man who loves you like you deserve. Who knows, maybe Brumby will be able to win you over now that I'm out.

I wish you all the best.

Harm

As she was reading, Mac felt her heart break. She thought he had carefully chosen his words, and each of them was like a knife drawing blood. At the end, tears were rolling freely down her cheeks. Curse him. Curse him for opening her heart, make her want, curse him for making her believe.

This girl was coming out of nowhere, and she was stealing her sailor right from under her nose ! When Harm had announced his engagement, she couldn't believe it. She even had a few nice words with that girl before he had released the news. But of course, she was a pilot, so they had that in common. But she had never been around before. How could he have gotten her pregnant ? June... that would place the conception in... September. When they were both flying.

And Mac remembered. Harm had told her he went to visit Dubrovnik with a friend, and they'd been shot at. She assumed it was a male friend, someone from the carrier. She'd been afraid for his security. Not his heart.

The baby, the sudden engagement, Mac thought Harm had once more been the perfect gentleman and done the right thing. She wondered if that marriage would last. The girl seemed taken up with him. And Harm had a deal with her first anyway. When baby AJ was born, he was the one saying they should have a baby in five years. Would he be divorced by then, and able to uphold his promise ?

Mac was so hurt she wanted to break something. Instead, she packed her gym bag and headed out. A session with gloves and a sandbag would do her good.

*****